COVID-19

1) Gloria Anzaldúa Is My Antidote for 2020

This blog is about my process. 

 

A Chicana colleague shocked me out of self-pity when she said she thought I was the first tenured Chicana feminist scholar to be displaced by COVID-19. In the spirit of sharing, I am blogging so no one else feels alone. I am sure that I am not the only one. 

 

A shifting sense of identity has been an unexpected part of becoming jobless. Yes, I am a COVID-19 displaced worker. In fact, I have been unemployed since the end of May. Sad. Mad. Betrayed. At times, I am simply confused. Mainly, I am confused. I clean, sleep, EAT, and think. Mainly, I sleep. The story seems so sad, but it is happening to me. No job after teaching Women’s Studies and Chicanx Studies for twenty years. 

 Full STOP.

Believe me, I have wanted it to all stop, but I have to go through this. Right now, I am stuck. I don’t want to shift to the new reality; I fight it. 

 

Working on myself is demanding work. Teaching Gloria Anzaldúa’s Borderlands/La Frontera has prepared me to shed my skin with grace. Coatlaxopeuh is helping me learn to take this time for myself. On days when I feel underwater, I think I must choose between getting another teaching position and getting a job in the private sector.  Lucily, Anzaldúa’s discussion of the Coatlicue State has prepared me for “downtime” while I consider ways to juggle my teaching/academic skills and my hobby business (web design and development) skills. This blog is one way I am learning to juggle and figure out what to do.

 

By writing and learning to use WordPress, I am developing a new sense of online community. Already this blog has revived my sense of hope. Hope was there I know, hidden by the deaths of six people close to me and by the pain of isolation due to COVID-19. 

 

As I process my loss and understand the potential changes, I am finding myself again. I am going inside myself, either sleeping or lying around. I am not doing anything, but I am processing everything. I am going underground in an archaeology of my Self. Gloria Anzaldua is my antidote for 2020.

Coatlicue: Nuestra Madre
link to http://thisbridge.net

My 2007-2020 digital archive,
This Bridge Called My Back

 

dead dog tired squirrel, sprawled out on step
dead dog tired squirrel, sprawled out on step

Gloria Anzaldúa is my antidote for 2020

 

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